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Festivals have a certain charm around them, some magical dust, always something to look forward to..creating memories and nostalgia at the same time.

At Epoch homes, all team members enjoy celebrating all kinds of traditional festivals with our elderly residents. Traditions are best learnt from elders, and our dadas and dadis at Epoch love to follow and live upto old traditions. We also see this as an opportunity to involve them and seek their advice since they have so much to share, so much to relive!

Festivity and celebrations have several aspects like traditional food, decorations, music, bright clothes! Smiles and laughter radiate a sense of community and bonhomie. As part of these celebrations, we always have a little song and dance, which is curated by our own staff team. Our staff wears relevant costumes and performs these ‘shows’! At Onam, we have staff perform Pulikali and serve Onam Sadya; at Dussehra, they enact the Ravana mythology and burn cute effigies; Independence & Republic days are all about reminiscing pre partition stories and feeling patriotic! Residents also participate in these activities to the best of their ability and soak in the atmosphere.

At Diwali, everyone in the Epoch homes- our team and all our residents perform the evening Diwali pooja -however old they may be, or even if they are not completely physically mobile. At Lohri, we light the traditional bonfire, play Punjabi songs, and make the traditional offerings of peanuts, popcorn, til etc. to the bonfire. During Christmas, all our residents are greeted by Santa Claus, and get their special gift!

It is worth that little extra effort since there is an overall sense of inclusiveness, positivity, nostalgia and fond long-lasting memories. Our very special moment is when our 85 year old Uncle says _‘Today’s Holi celebrations reminded me of how I used to enjoy with the pichkaari with my brothers in Pind!’_. 

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Festivals & some old world charm

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The birth of a grandchild changes everything in a grandparent’s life...We have seen intergenerational interactions work beautifully since these are both age cohorts that require that extra attention and supervision.

At Epoch homes, we have often invited little kids from prep, nursery, kindergarten to come over, along with their teachers. We encourage these kids to just play around and be themselves and there is no pressure of formal interaction or activities. The toddlers don’t hesitate, they are so disarmingly and a delight to have around. They go and charmingly tug at a dadi’s dupatta with an innocent smile, or gently tap the hand of an uncle who is sitting by himself. Suddenly we see our elderly residents becoming very responsible in front of the kids. It is a beautiful metamorphosis that you can see. Though many of our residents are dependent, they start being concerned about the well-being of the kids and take care of the kids in their own way. For the kids, it normalizes seeing and naturally interacting with the older generation who may be in wheelchairs, or physically unfit. As kids and the elderly mingle with one another, there is unconditional warmth from both sides, which is truly therapeutic and generates positive vibes. 

We have also seen that in their own homes, grandchildren play a very important role in managing conditions like dementia of the grandparents esp in engaging them in activities or a routine. Role reversals play out beautifully- the grandchild becomes the responsible one and the elder is happy to follow their lead.

In Japan, there are Montessori schools within retirement communities. On one hand, it helps the kids of staff members to attend school within the premises, and, on the other hand, it also helps the interaction of the kids with elders.  It would be great to see this trend pick up in India also, as it is a win-win situation for society at large.

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When toddlers meet dadis!

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Saregama Carvaan _(note: this is not a paid promotion)_ is a fantastic collation of all the lovely music across various decades and types of music. For many of us (elders and young music lovers!) it solved a big problem. We now do not have to take the effort of putting together a playlist, and it is a great gift item, specially for elders. At Epoch too, it has been a great boon for us! 

Music has always been the multi-talented and versatile companion. From being pursued as a hobby, to helping manage or express emotions, to being part of active therapy to simply being a companion in the room- music is appreciated if not passionately loved by one and all. As part of the ageing process, the much loved TV and soap operas slowly start losing it’s relevance- largely because it becomes too loud a stimulii for the struggling senses- either vision, hearing or both. But what continues to soothe is the presence of old songs or tunes. It also helps to overcome the feeling of void, nothingness for elders, specially when they are to themselves.


Music has a role to play throughout the day. Many elders like to start the day by listening to or singing along with an aarti or bhajan. During the day it can be an active session with antakshari, karoeke or playing a musical instrument. At bed time, soothing instrumental music can help overcome sleep issues. Very rarely have we come across elders who don’t have their old time favourite artists or albums. Our admission and ongoing processes ensures we capture these details so it can be used later during the elder’s stay. Our care attendants know the favourite bhajans of the elderly, often encouraging them to sing along. Most of our elders have these little booklets of sholkas, mantras, which they used to read whilst doing their puja. Elders find it very helpful and satisfying that they can now listen to these kathaas on the system, which helps them whilst doing the puja. This is a small, but very powerful stimulus in giving the elders the confidence that they can still do the ritual that they have done in their lives.

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Music as a guest companion

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Our elderly residents come to Epoch homes mostly, after a major health related event has already taken place such as a fall, surgery, diagnosis/worsening of dementia or unmanageable comorbidities. At this juncture more often than not, elders either completely give up and just let years pass by; or they truly want to give it their best to live a meaningful life, and willfully enter another phase. A lot of this truly depends on the nursing team and what is the extra mile they are willing to walk. 

Epoch’s core offering is clinical care in a home like environment. It becomes imperative for the nurses to have technical expertise and be highly skilled nurses but what is also important is to have the highest level of empathy & warmth. It requires re-training, perhaps in some cases also a lot of unlearning of what the nurses have done in their earlier jobs. 

We believe in focusing on the person as much as the clinical condition. The nurses have to ensure that the residents are physically healthy and all health parameters are met. But, at Epoch, our care staff are not just good clinical nurses, but also companions of our elderly Nanas & Nanis. The first step is to see if the nursing staff has understood what the elder really wants. The demeanor, body language and smile of the nursing staff are as important as the care given for the clinical condition. Our nurses understand how important it is to motivate the elders, sit and listen and hold their hands and go that extra inch. The rapport that is established between the caregiver and the person is as important as the medical treatment given, since this defines the prognosis of the elder’s condition, and how we at Epoch are driving the change in the elderly person’s approach to his life. It is similar to the olden days wherein the person would tell his General Physician _‘Doctor saab, meri tabiyat apko dekh ke hi acchi ho gayi!’ ( I am feeling better just looking at your reassuring face and smile)_

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Clinical expertise and empathy - one is incomplete without the other

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An example I often give in my training programs is how giving up our independence on our daily activities (such as brushing our teeth, bathing or changing clothes) is the absolute last option for us even if we are running a 104-grade fever. All of us are fiercely protective of our independence and do whatever it takes to maintain it. Unfortunately, as we age many elders end up giving up on this independence and often feel compromised on their dignity.

Maintaining the independence and sense of dignity of our elderly residents for as long as possible is a key focus area for all of us at Epoch. Most elders in our homes need assistance in their basic Activities of Daily Living (ADL), such as personal hygiene, grooming, bathing, dressing, toileting, eating, moving around, etc. We train our team that however dependent the resident may be, the care attendant must handle the ADL with sensitivity, maturity and respect the privacy of the person.

We work towards gently getting the elderly uncles and aunties to do these ADL activities independently, as much as possible. In the bathroom, whether it is soaping or drying oneself, or shaving, our care attendants function as their ‘safety net’, and less as their ‘crutch’. While assisting an elder, we must be careful to not end up ‘helping too much’ that existing skillsets take a back seat.

In addition, It is also important to facilitate decision-making in dependent elders esp when it comes to their everyday life. In small things such as choosing their hairstyle, or deciding what clothes to wear, gently nudge elders to be their own decision-makers, and you will be able to build a sense of normalcy, dignity and esteem. We have seen that even in advanced stages of dementia they are able to take these decisions about themselves and that is a huge contributor to maintaining their quality of life.

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Be the safety net for elders, not their crutch

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In my earlier write-up, I have mentioned how interactions between younger kids and the elderly are co-beneficial to both generations. Here, I would like to talk about the intergenerational interactions of older children, say teenagers and young adults.

Many schools are encouraging students to undertake social volunteering and complete community hours as part of their course. At Epoch, we had Class VIII-XII students from various schools come to our homes and participate in activities and celebrations with our elderly residents. They come to play music, sing songs, partner on a board game, conduct group games, or simply sit and chat. During initial requests, my team and I were a little unsure about teenagers having the sensitivity (or patience) to interact with our elders but turns out some of them truly enjoy these visits. Grandparents after all share a very different equation with grandkids and that is what gets effortlessly recreated during these interactions.

What it also does is build sensitivity about aging and it’s issues and highlights the role of professional care in chronic conditions. We have heard children exclaim that ‘oh we didn't know that assisted living homes could be like this!’. They go back and relay stories- thus in a small way normalizing moving elders to a care home.

When at Epoch we were offering Home Care services (in 2012), trained youngsters of our team would provide intellectual companionship to elders in their own homes. The elders started to build a rapport with our young team members and really started looking forward to these visits. Friendships ran deep and meaningful. Due to this bond of understanding and comfortable rapport, our elders were much more open to experimenting and trying out new things. They agreed to do many activities, which they may have never done in the past such as playing a musical instrument, or putting beads in their hair, or painting their nails red! 

Globally, the trend of young students and first jobbers staying within the complex of Senior Care Homes or Retirement Communities is growing. It is a quid-pro-quo. The youngsters stay in the complex for free, or at subsidized rates. In return, they interact with the elderly, have conversations with them, get to know the elders better whilst having breakfast or dining together. In some cases, students who are learning music give a cello (or any other instrument) recitals for the residents of these elder care communities. They land up developing special long-lasting bonds with some of the elders who have played or learned music in their younger days. Both these age segments mutually fulfill each other’s social and emotional needs seamlessly; since both are away from their families. Countries such as the USA, Belgium, and Sweden have these interactive programs for many years. 

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The magical combination of youngsters and seniors!

Through many occasions, articles, & forums Neha has spoken to encounter stereotypes surrounding eldercare & has represented insights of the Indian eldercare industry.

Neha’s corner

Musings

I pause, I reflect, I contemplate. On this musings page, I share my thoughts and perspectives with you based on my experiences, the lessons I have learnt.

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