In most cultures, caregiving is traditionally seen as a female’s role. We have expected, perceived & encouraged women to be the primary nurturers of an ecosystem. Even when we hire external help, it is the female Didi that we first think of. 

On the other hand, I believe, caregiving as a skill set is part of your DNA- you are either built this way or not. It needs unending empathy and simply the ability to prioritise someone else’s need over yours. In my quest for perpetually looking out for caregivers at Epoch, I have more often than not come across some wonderful men who have taken up this challenging job of looking after elders and done it beautifully. I have also seen women who completely lack this DNA!

At Epoch homes, we have more male than female facility nurses taking care of our elders. I see on a daily basis how our male nurses have wonderful people’s skills- they are compassionate, soft and genuinely caring. Most elders reciprocate with the same warmth and comfort to them and a beautiful bond is formed. 

So, a shout out to all the wonderful men out there- someone, somewhere is waiting for you..to hold their hand and say ‘I care’. :) 

We need you to choose, elder care.

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Festivals have a certain charm around them, some magical dust, always something to look forward to..creating memories and nostalgia at the same time.

At Epoch homes, all team members enjoy celebrating all kinds of traditional festivals with our elderly residents. Traditions are best learnt from elders, and our dadas and dadis at Epoch love to follow and live upto old traditions. We also see this as an opportunity to involve them and seek their advice since they have so much to share, so much to relive!

Festivity and celebrations have several aspects like traditional food, decorations, music, bright clothes! Smiles and laughter radiate a sense of community and bonhomie. As part of these celebrations, we always have a little song and dance, which is curated by our own staff team. Our staff wears relevant costumes and performs these ‘shows’! At Onam, we have staff perform Pulikali and serve Onam Sadya; at Dussehra, they enact the Ravana mythology and burn cute effigies; Independence & Republic days are all about reminiscing pre partition stories and feeling patriotic! Residents also participate in these activities to the best of their ability and soak in the atmosphere.

At Diwali, everyone in the Epoch homes- our team and all our residents perform the evening Diwali pooja -however old they may be, or even if they are not completely physically mobile. At Lohri, we light the traditional bonfire, play Punjabi songs, and make the traditional offerings of peanuts, popcorn, til etc. to the bonfire. During Christmas, all our residents are greeted by Santa Claus, and get their special gift!

It is worth that little extra effort since there is an overall sense of inclusiveness, positivity, nostalgia and fond long-lasting memories. Our very special moment is when our 85 year old Uncle says _‘Today’s Holi celebrations reminded me of how I used to enjoy with the pichkaari with my brothers in Pind!’_. 

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Festivals & some old world charm

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The birth of a grandchild changes everything in a grandparent’s life...We have seen intergenerational interactions work beautifully since these are both age cohorts that require that extra attention and supervision.

At Epoch homes, we have often invited little kids from prep, nursery, kindergarten to come over, along with their teachers. We encourage these kids to just play around and be themselves and there is no pressure of formal interaction or activities. The toddlers don’t hesitate, they are so disarmingly and a delight to have around. They go and charmingly tug at a dadi’s dupatta with an innocent smile, or gently tap the hand of an uncle who is sitting by himself. Suddenly we see our elderly residents becoming very responsible in front of the kids. It is a beautiful metamorphosis that you can see. Though many of our residents are dependent, they start being concerned about the well-being of the kids and take care of the kids in their own way. For the kids, it normalizes seeing and naturally interacting with the older generation who may be in wheelchairs, or physically unfit. As kids and the elderly mingle with one another, there is unconditional warmth from both sides, which is truly therapeutic and generates positive vibes. 

We have also seen that in their own homes, grandchildren play a very important role in managing conditions like dementia of the grandparents esp in engaging them in activities or a routine. Role reversals play out beautifully- the grandchild becomes the responsible one and the elder is happy to follow their lead.

In Japan, there are Montessori schools within retirement communities. On one hand, it helps the kids of staff members to attend school within the premises, and, on the other hand, it also helps the interaction of the kids with elders.  It would be great to see this trend pick up in India also, as it is a win-win situation for society at large.

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When toddlers meet dadis!

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Saregama Carvaan _(note: this is not a paid promotion)_ is a fantastic collation of all the lovely music across various decades and types of music. For many of us (elders and young music lovers!) it solved a big problem. We now do not have to take the effort of putting together a playlist, and it is a great gift item, specially for elders. At Epoch too, it has been a great boon for us! 

Music has always been the multi-talented and versatile companion. From being pursued as a hobby, to helping manage or express emotions, to being part of active therapy to simply being a companion in the room- music is appreciated if not passionately loved by one and all. As part of the ageing process, the much loved TV and soap operas slowly start losing it’s relevance- largely because it becomes too loud a stimulii for the struggling senses- either vision, hearing or both. But what continues to soothe is the presence of old songs or tunes. It also helps to overcome the feeling of void, nothingness for elders, specially when they are to themselves.


Music has a role to play throughout the day. Many elders like to start the day by listening to or singing along with an aarti or bhajan. During the day it can be an active session with antakshari, karoeke or playing a musical instrument. At bed time, soothing instrumental music can help overcome sleep issues. Very rarely have we come across elders who don’t have their old time favourite artists or albums. Our admission and ongoing processes ensures we capture these details so it can be used later during the elder’s stay. Our care attendants know the favourite bhajans of the elderly, often encouraging them to sing along. Most of our elders have these little booklets of sholkas, mantras, which they used to read whilst doing their puja. Elders find it very helpful and satisfying that they can now listen to these kathaas on the system, which helps them whilst doing the puja. This is a small, but very powerful stimulus in giving the elders the confidence that they can still do the ritual that they have done in their lives.

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Music as a guest companion

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Caregiving is not a gendered role!

In most cultures, caregiving is traditionally seen as a female’s role. We have expected, perceived & encouraged women to be the primary nurturers of an ecosystem. Even when we hire external help, it is the female...

Caregiving is not a gendered role!

Neha Sinha

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