As Epoch Elder Care is an establishment that specializes in Elder Care and assisted living, most of our elders stay with us for a long time, maybe even for the rest of their lives. When this happens, we sometimes find ourselves in situations where we need to move from curative care to palliative care. Palliative care or end-of-life care are the treatments and care plans we provide our elders, which focus more on giving them a comfortable and peaceful life before their eventual demise. We try our best to preserve their quality of life, however, there is another aspect of Palliative Care for Elders that we are committed to taking care of - their family’s grief.
When an elder enters palliative care, it’s not only a journey for the elder, but also their family. Watching your loved ones slowly declining in front of your eyes is heartbreaking, with a volcano of emotions erupting at once; guilt, sadness, anger and even anxiety. At Epoch Elder Care, we’ve seen this firsthand and we truly believe that caring for families is just as important as caring for our elders.
What is Anticipatory Grief?
Most families start grieving long before their loved ones pass away. This grief is known as anticipatory grief. The storm of unsettling emotions that one feels when they see their parents, spouses, or siblings slowly fading away is nerve-racking. These emotions can manifest in several different ways. One may become irritable and exhausted, emotionally unstable, frustrated, anxious, or even isolate themselves from their loved ones, quietly suffering through their pain alone. While all this is overwhelming, it is important for one to understand that these emotions are completely normal.
How to Deal With Grief in End-of-Life Care?
Love, care and support are the answers to all.
It has been over a decade of me working with the Epoch Team, and I stand firm by their belief that when families are supported and cared for, our elders also breathe peacefully and live their life happily.
The first step to accepting your grief is to acknowledge it. We wish we had a magical way to make the pain go away, but it does not happen overnight. Acknowledging the grief doesn’t make it go away, but it is the first step towards normalising it. If you have trouble handling your emotions, it is also important to identify that as well.
The second step is to seek guidance, from your loved ones, or a professional. There is no shame and judgment in asking for help during hard times such as these. Getting emotional, physical and social help will not only uplift your spirits, you will also be able to live a more fulfilling life with your loved ones while they are still with you. At the end of the day we just want to be close to our loved ones, but what we don’t realise is that all we have right now is the present moment. We must all try to make the best of it.
The third thing that may help you ease the loss in your lives is to share the burden. That may be venting out your feelings, sharing responsibility of care, or delegating and hiring professionals to do it for you. It is very natural to spend your entire time and energy caring for your loved ones, but there is an important aspect of this many people forget, that you need to spend time with them, cherishing those moments. Being gobbled up by anxiety, fear and worry will not only make your loved ones feel guilty, it will also make you exhausted.
The last thing that I would like to add to this is; cherish each moment you have with them, even the smallest ones, with them sipping their favourite tea, laughing about past incidents, pulling your leg on how much you’ve grown, and their typical nagging about the house not being clean enough. These are the moments that you will miss the most. Remember to treasure every last one of them.
How Can Epoch Help with End of Life Care?
Senior retirement facilities or assisted living facilities are often perceived as a gloomy place, however, that is far from the truth at Epoch Elder Care. We have beautiful houses named after famous artists to bring a sense of intrigue right as you step into it.
Apart from the standard facilities we provide with palliative care, we also hold every elders’ quality of life and connection with their families in the highest regard. We do that by keeping an open communication so families are never left in the dark about any changes in their loved one’s condition.
Our team intently takes time to listen to the family’s emotions and concerns, not just the medical details. We support families in making difficult decisions, whether it’s about aggressive medical treatment or comfort-focused care. Above all, we gently remind families to spend time as sons, daughters, or spouses sitting together, laughing, listening to music, or sharing a meal because these moments of connection bring comfort and meaning to their lives. Elder Mental Health Care is also a crucial pillar of our care plans, and family interactions deeply help us achieve it.
We encourage families to express themselves openly and not hide their feelings, it is perfectly okay to cry, feel angry, or admit when you are tired. Leaning on others, whether siblings, friends, or professionals, can ease the burden and remind you that you don’t have to carry everything alone. Caregiving also becomes more manageable when responsibilities are shared, allowing everyone to take turns and not being burnt out by constant caregiving. In the midst of challenges.It helps to create small joys; a smile, a gentle touch, or recalling a story from the past can bring comfort and connection. And above all, remember to look after yourself too, because a well-rested and cared-for family member is ultimately the best support an elder can have.
Takeaway
Elder Palliative Care is hard, and is filled with bittersweet memories for everyone involved. Our Palliative Care Homes in Gurgaon and Pune work tirelessly to ensure that nothing is gone unseen, whether it be medical care, quality of life or emotional support. We all are here round the clock for you if you choose to trust us with this immense responsibility of taking care of your loved ones when they need it the most. Epoch not only stands beside elders, but also their families, making sure that they get to process their grief properly and not say goodbye to their loved ones in sorrow.
When families are happy, elders are often the happiest.
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